


Difficult Conversations

by RadioRoulette



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Basically they both say 'I love you' but they're just friends, Could be read as romantic tbh, Featuring Octavio's dad's terrible parenting, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Light Angst, Octane is addicted to stim, Past Child Abuse, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Platonic Love, Platonic Relationships, Swearing, They say like two bad words, Trans Octane | Octavio Silva, bad metaphors, not beta read we die like forge, only briefly mentioned tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:47:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26232919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RadioRoulette/pseuds/RadioRoulette
Summary: Octavio had never been good at hiding things from Ajay. Especially not during the doctor's visits.---Based on the prompt 'difficult conversations' (yes, that's also the title, as you can tell, I'm very original). All this is is a little friendship fic about terrible dads and addiction. Enjoy!(This fic includes mentions of some heavier topics, please check tags before reading!)
Relationships: Lifeline | Ajay Che & Octane | Octavio Silva
Kudos: 17





	Difficult Conversations

**Author's Note:**

> Heya! I tried my best to write Ajay's accent as it is in-game, but it does get a little confusing at times, so I apologize in advance :,)

“Silva, what’s all ‘dis ‘den?”

Octavio internally – and externally – groaned, cursing these stupid doctors’ visits. He loved Ajay to death, but God she was pushy. Every visit ended in her assigning him a new disorder or new medication, and every time, without fail, Octavio forgot it all the next day. Then he’d come back and endure another lecture about being an adult and doing adult things like writing important stuff down. And then the cycle would repeat, visit after visit.

He winced as she prodded the tiny wound with a gloved finger. “Che, it’s nothing you have to worry about, I promise.”

“You say that every time,” Ajay said with a frown, eyebrows drawn together, “plus, I’m ya’ docta’, checking up on ya’ is my job.”

 _I wish it wasn’t_ , he thought to himself. In reality, he was aware it was his own fault she was there to judge him. He chose her way back in the beginning of his stint at Apex, preferring a familiar face to the other stuck-up, white-coat doctors. That, and he didn’t want to have to explain his life story to yet another new person. The shitty dad and drug addiction and dysphoria made for a rather long explanation on why Octavio was who he was.

Ajay continued to peer at his scar, before sighing in exasperation. “Ya’ve been stimming outside of the games, haven’t ya’?” she scolded, her frown somehow managing to deepen, making thick creases in the smooth skin of her face.

All of the lecturing was beginning to remind Octavio of his second step-mother, the one who hated him with a passion that should not have been reserved for a nine-year-old. He had taken a particular delight in the inevitable removal of her from his home, and his family. He regretted his excitement later, when his father spotted him looking a bit too gleeful at dinner. The alcohol he’d been drinking hadn’t worked in Octavio’s favour, either.

He wished he hated Ajay as much as he hated that old wench of a woman.

“Seriously, Che, it’s no biggie,” he whined as he inched away from her prying eyes, the cold examination table making him shiver, “I just had a teeny-tiny bit of stim-”

“Do ya’ ever listen to me?” Ajay exploded, “do ya’ ever even listen to ya’self?”

Octavio tried to interrupt, but she cut him off. “Don’t even try arguing with me!” Her voice cracked. “I know ya’, probably better than ya’ know ya’self. I know that ya’ hate the idea that there’s a reason for all of ‘dis. I know that ya’ refuse to care for ya’self, and I know for a fact it’s because of ya’…” she trailed off.

She started up again, voice a touch quieter than before. “Ya’ think ya’ ain’t worthy of care, but ya’ are, Silva,” she pleaded, eyes shining in the bright med bay lights. “Ya’ so vibrant and loud and obnoxious, with or without stim. A star can only burn so bright before it fizzles out. And Silva, I don’t wanna see ya’ fizzlin’, ya’ hear? I’d repeat therapies and treatments to ya’ ‘till this whole damn planet exploded if that were what it’d take for ya’ to stop hating ya’self like ‘dis. I’m tired of watching ya’ beat ya’self up about things out of ya’ control. I see ya’ doing that and I… I think of ya’ father.”

Octavio winced. “My father…” he tried, unable to form any other words.

Ajay grabbed his hand gently and gave it a squeeze. “Ya’ ain’t ya’ dad, Silva. Ya’ Octane, fastest legend in the Games, not some abusive dickhead. He’s gone. I promise ya’ – listen Silva – I promise ya’ I’ll never let him lay another finger on ya’ for as long as I live.”

Octane held tight to her hand, his lifeline.

“Just tell me ya’ will stop stimming outside the games, okay?”

He smiled under his mask. “I’ll try.”

Her face broke into a wide grin, her sunshine lighting up the white-walled room. If keeping clean meant seeing more of this version of his best friend, rather than Angry-Che, he was sure he could quit.

“Good, ‘cause I was gettin’ tired of dis sappy shit.” Her voice was firm, but her watery eyes gave away her concern as she pulled him into a hug. “I love ya’, Silva, but ya’ need to learn to love ya’self.”

He hugged her back twice as tight, warmth blooming through his chest. “Love you too, Che.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you're interested in beta reading any of my future writing, please let me know <3


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